Le naked

I’m not entirely sure how I missed the bit about our next stop being a naturist site, lolly assures me that I read the description and that I said it was cool. 

I was first alerted to the nakedness when we came to check in, all of the staff were in clothes, then some naked people walked in, genuinely I had no idea we were heading to a naturist site. 

I don’t have a problem with naturism, if people want to walk about in the buff then that’s up to them, me being naked however, that I have issue with. 

I’ve never really been comfortable with being naked, for one, I have psoriasis and this season it’s come up on my head and my arse, I don’t like looking at it and I don’t think anyone else would either. Secondly I’ve never felt particularly good about my physique, I’m not massively fat but I’m not lean either, I’m not muscular but not unmuscular either if that makes sense, average is about the best way I could describe myself. 

I turn the light off when I go to bed before I take my clothes off so I don’t catch a glance of my naked self in the mirror, issues. 

Lolly assures me that nobody is particularly looking and deep down I know she’s right, the demons in my head have other idea’s however and are set to ruin what could have been a couple of fun days trying a new experience. 

After getting over the initial shock about the whole naturist thing we made our way to the pitch we’d been assigned, it was in the blazing sun with no shelter and next door to the newly arrived circus, this would be the first and possibly last time I saw a camel wandering through the open air toilets. There were also some beautiful but quite sad looking tigers. 

  
We agreed this would not do, especially as the pitch we were given was being vacated by a Welsh couple for exactly the same reasons. A short trip to reception, an explanation of our situation and requirements resulted in us being given a list of available spots and to just help ourselves. 

The list and accompanying map were a pain to use and for Lolly it got too much, it wouldn’t be long before one of us blew a fuse, lolly went to the beach, I sorted our pitch. 

Sorting our pitch involved stopping at the spar for a couple of beers, skulling one and then opening the other for the drive round the site trying to find a suitable spot from the available ones.

After a couple of no goes I came across a suitable spot and drove the van toward it, that’s when I beached the van in sand, no going anywhere. 

Within seconds I was surrounded by naked men, an English chap called Gerry introduced himself and apologised for not coming out sooner to warn me of the sand trap, apparently I wasn’t the first to get stuck. Meanwhile, a couple of the naked men left and returned with shovels and what followed was possibly one of the more bizzare things I’ve seen in my life, naked men digging out a campervan, a true once in a lifetime experience. 

Eventually we got the van out with some digging and an old towel of all things, I got the van where it needed to be and setup camp mashley. 

 
Despite finding the whole naked digging rescue thing a bit surreal I was genuinely moved at everyone’s willingness to help a stupid Englishman stuck in the sand. I headed off to the beach to find lolly, it didn’t take long to find her and the journey to the beach involved naked overload, naked people everywhere, walking, cycling, flying down water slides and the beach, naked surfing, never seen that before! We hung by the beach and caught some waves on our bodyboards, the surf there is excellent, I put on a wetsuit, still not up for being naked just yet. 

When we got back to the van our only shower option was pretty open, no doors, just a shower while people pass by on their way to their next naked activity, I bit the bullet and got on with it, wasn’t so bad. Lolly I might add has no issue with being naked and from the moment she got to the beach ditched her clothes and didn’t wear much for the remainder of our trip. 

  
The following day the weather was a bit rubbish, I hung by the van updating the blog and devising a Frankenstein charging system so our fridge would work. I also threw a shit fit about being naked on some slides but that’s a whole other story. Lauren went for a wander and we visited Aldi to pick up some supplies for a BBQ at the beach. 

The beach at Montalivet is awesome and perfect for a BBQ.  Seeing as nobody was really around and I’d pissed off lolly with my shit fit at the water slides I figured the best thing I could do was get naked on the beach with my wife and go for a naked swim, here we are below after the swim, butt naked!

  
We cooked a shed load of food, lamb, chicken and unfortunately some rubbish burgers, steak hache for any of you heading to France, make sure you season them! 

The beach is a great spot for a sunset and this nights sunset was nothing short of epic, a stunning sunset with a massive looming storm, sometimes I forget with the right composition how good a photo an iPhone can take. 

  
We took a stroll back to the van, crashed, got up and prepped for the journey to Chambord. 

Gerry and his wife Catherine came to wish us a safe journey, they were such nice people, we bumped into them loads around the site and they always said hello, Gerry was infectiously happy at all times. 

The whole naked thing seems to remove so many barriers we humans put up, everyone I encountered on the site was butt naked, friendly and happy, I suspect at one with the whole underneath we are all the same idea. 

The site is an amazing place, it’s like a small village, in fact I know smaller villages. The facilities are excellent, the surroundings beautiful and a happy community atmosphere. 

I still feel a bit weird naked but genuinely, I hope I get over it because I’d go back to CHM in Montalivet and I’d probably get naked. 

Le nice spot

About an hour and a half after leaving Brive we arrived in Sanquinet, our home for the next couple of nights was an aire by the lake, there were a number of free bays / pitches but we decided on one that we probably weren’t allowed to park on.

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We parked up here because the view was really nice.

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As Lolly had rightly predicted, we weren’t allowed to park where we were, the lady who comes round to collect your 9 euros for the night made it quite clear in French it was not possible to stay there and we would have to move, annoyingly i’d put up all the blinds to keep the sun out and pretty much covered the front seats with all our stuff, I chucked it all in the back of the van and reluctantly headed back to where we should have parked.

What you can see in front of us is actually a lake, not the sea although it’s a sandy beach beside it, we spent the remainder of the day hanging in the sun, I read Lolly the final chapter of the Martian and we ventured out to find food. A few wrong turns later and we found the intermarche, beer, salad and few other bits and bobs were purchased, on the way back we grabbed a roast chicken from a rotissere store and munched our way through the sunset.

There was no shower facilities at this aire so I made one, many people got to see my bum..

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The problem with being next to a lake is mossies, they are everywhere, thankfully Lolly had packed mossie defences such as spray, smoke coils and a battery operated mossie defence thing, they all worked admirably, no bites.

Next day we ventured out on a canoe around the lake, we were gone for a couple of hours, saw some cows on an island and more tethered plastic birds than i’ve ever seen in any one place at any one time, we think it’s a bird watchers ploy to attract real birds as there were also what looked like bird watching hides..

Canoeing is knackering so after a couple of hours we retreated to the beach. We had a little walk about and found a suitable spot to eat our lunch and watch the world (paddle boards and catamarans) go by, we decided to come back for sunset.

More chicken and salad was on the agenda, i’d since moved the van to a better spot and on returning to it found an older but similarly coloured version of a camper van parked close by.

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We watched the sunset from the spot we found at lunch, it was peaceful and quite spectacular.

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I haven’t taken a selfie of us for a while so here’s one!

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Not long after this we returned to the van and crashed, early start in the morning, we’re on the way home, via montalivet, less than a week and i’ll be back at work, boo….

If you have a T4 camper and like us, a sink with a waste water pipe that goes straight out the bottom of the van and dumps your water wherever you are parked you might want to try this simple and affordable waste water catcher solution.

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Works like a charm, get a knife and cut a cross near the top of the neck of the bottle, that way you can pretty much fill it up without spilling any, seen a lot of europeans with T4’s doing this…

Le Black Madonna

Rockamadour sits atop a gorge on the Dordogne and looks like it’s been carved out of the hillside, from afar it’s a really quite beautiful looking village.

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The sanctuary above is known as the sanctuary of the blessed mary (also the pilgrimage church of Notre Dame) and within it resides the wooden black madonna said to have been carved by Saint Amator (Amadour) himself. Some will tell you Rocamadour is named after Saint Amadour, others say it’s named after a goats milk cheese, I prefer the saint version.

Despite the lower part of the village being a massive tourist trap the sanctuary at the top is still very much a religious place, so much so that at the entrance to the sanctuary they have various bits of cloth you can use to cover yourself up with if you want to go and view the sanctuary, if you are wearing very short shorts, a vest or crop top then it’s required to cover up, religious folk still make a pilgrimage to the sanctuary.

As you an see from the village below, the sanctuary is quite a way up.

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Allegedly, if you say a prayer on each of the steps on the way up to the sanctuary you will see or behold a miracle, looking at some of the people climbing the stairs it was a miracle in itself they made it to the top without heart failure.

The sanctuary from an architecture point of view is really quite stunning, as i’ve mentioned before, i’m not religious in the  slightest but I do appreciate the architecture.

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I didn’t find the the wooden black madonna, to be honest, I didn’t really look, I did think the light coming through above the altar was quite special so I took a picture.

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The remainder of our time at Rocamadour involved walking up over the ramparts and admiring the view across the gorge, we also went on a funicular lift which Ian really enjoyed, he’s a lift engineer by trade and to him I guess this was a kind of lift porn, you can see Ian admiring the lift on the right below…

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We left Rocamadour and headed off in search of food, we stopped at an auberge that Ian and Lindi are good friends with the owners of, Auberge de forges, well worth a visit, great food, great location and fantastic company!

The following day we got up and headed off for a day of canoeing with Captain John, another of Lindi and Ian’s friends who’s made a life for themselves in France.

Captain John has spent a lot of time at sea, a proper old salty sea dog, i’d never met anyone who had a pet octopus that lived in a bucket on the side of boat or rescued a crow that became a best friend but, since meeting John thats all changed!

Here we all are on the Dordogne executing a safety manoeuvre whilst drinking beer, thats how good we got a canoeing, see if you can spot captain John!

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We covered a fair distance, it took us about 6 hours to get from start to finish with a minor stop for lunch en route. Lolly’s parents have often said they’d like to do the canoe trip but never got round to it, i’m really glad we all got to do it together, a really great day out..

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Once we got back to base camp we visited Captain John and Vals place, they essentially bought a barn and a hill 12 years ago, shortly after they paid their money the barn fell down and they have been working on building a house ever since, they currently live in a caravan on the lower part of their hill, the upside of the barn collapsing is John has all the stone, timber and roofing slate he’ll ever need to build their home, they are a lovely couple are John and Val, the kind of people you feel you’ve known forever but only just met, I hope we see them again sometime, Val makes awesome soup too!

We returned to chateau coups and settled in for the night, some booze and food coupled with a night shot of the van.

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Our final day with the Coups involved some proper sunbathing on Lollys part while I fannied about with the van getting things packed ready for our departure, below is a picture of Chateau Coups, it’s a lovely place in a lovely spot and Ian and Lindi have worked really hard to make it what it is.

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It’s normally quite quiet round these parts but all sorts went on when we were there, power cuts, thunder storms, a sighting of the milky way and a herd of cows being moved down the lane, Ian says it’s the busiest he’s seen!

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Before we left we decide on a little bike ride down to Hautfauge, along the way we came across a lovely church and a small war memorial, we also stopped at a little restaurant in the village that all the local workmen visit for the plat du jour, Lolly got harassed by a wasp and was running about the place much to the workmens amusement…

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Ian and Lindi wanted to show us Tour De Merle, a quite awesome ruin about 10km from their place.

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Annoyingly it was shut when we got there, when it’s open you can take a walk round, next time!

We had intended to be on the road by 17.00, it was now about 18.00 so we decided to go and get some food in Argentat, there is a nice little spot on the Dordogne that has a number of cafes, bistros and restaurants on the quay side.

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This was our view whilst munching a lovely meal on the quayside. We thanked Ian and Lindi for letting us take over their house for the last few days and headed off to Sanguinet, it was dark and the roads were badly lit so we swerved off to an aire in Brive for the night.

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At sunrise we grabbed a brew and made our way to the sea..

We’re now in the last week of our travels, we’ve covered 1418 miles in about 14 days and i’m currently trying to figure out how to give our fridge a 12 volt feed direct from the PMS unit as opposed to from the leisure battery it’s currently hard wired to, the problem i’m facing is the fridge draws more voltage than the PMS supplies as a charge to the battery when hooked up, the result is after a couple of days the fridge packs up as it’s drained the leisure battery and the ice melts and the charge the PMS gives can’t keep up with the fridges requirement, if I can find a way to send 12volts to the fridge via the PMS when hooked up to 240volts that would mean the battery would receive a top up charge from the PMS without being drained by the fridge,  i’ll work it our when I get home, for now I have the 7 stage charger I brought with me pumping the battery with more voltage than the PMS, it’s enough to charge the battery and sustain the fridge, not ideal but it works for now which means Lolly will have G&T’s!

Le Coups

Lollys parents have a second home near Argentat and this would be our home for the next four nights. Ian and Lindi bought essentially a shell of a property and have worked really hard to turn it into somewhere they can come and stay, enjoy rural French life and be part of a small French community, it was lovely to see different residents of the commune including the mayor in his tractor stop by and say hello despite speaking very limited English and doing their very best to understands Lindi and Ian’s French which is way better than most, certainly better than mine! 

The day we arrived it belted down with rain all day so we did all out washing and I gave the van a bit of a clear up and charged up the leisure battery, we pretty much stayed at home all day bar a brief trip to the shops (chicken and veg for an awesome roast) and a small walk with the dog, the house sits adjacent to a beautiful wood covered in fern, when the light filters through the view is quite magical. 

  
The weather the following day looked equally as damp so we decided to go see some caves, en route there was a bit of a commotion ahead and then there were sheep, lots of sheep!! 

  
When we reached the caves it seemed most of France had the same idea, a 2 hour queue from where we were standing in the rain, sod that, we chipped off and headed for the historic town of Rocamadour. 

Le posh meal. 

After chucking everything into the van rather quickly we set about making our way to St Emillion, a village famed for its vineyards and fine wines. It should have taken an hour and half but the traffic was awful, on top of that it was the hottest day since we’d been away, 31 degrees, instead of lying on a beach we were sweltering in a van with no air con stuck in a queue. 

When we finally arrived in St Emillon our satnav, voiced by John Cleese took us into a warren of narrow streets totally unsuitable for a van, so much so that we had to reverse out of one street, turn John off and head for a main road. We ended up parking outside St Emillion and walked up to the village, so far, not impressed. 

We stopped at a little restaurant called Le Mediavel for some food, expectations were not high but we were pleasantly suprised. Lolly had a fish lasagne and I had steak and chips, both really good and 9 euros each which is bloody cheap!

After food we took ourselves around the village while we waited for Lolly’s parents to arrive, the sun was beating down so we headed inside a church which was cool in more ways than one, whilst not religious at all I quite like churches for their architecture, especially proper old ones like this, I often wonder how they managed to build such amazing spaces with no modern assistance like cranes, diggers and cement mixers, clearly they managed. 

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As we left the church Lolly’s phone rang and Lindi, Lolly’s mum advised they had arrived. It was Lauren’s Dad Ian’s birthday and Lindi had booked us into a studio apartment for the night, we picked up the keys, opened some wine and toasted Ian a happy birthday!

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We didn’t quite realise the time and before we knew it the sun had gone down and it was 9 in the evening. We were all hungry and set about trying to find somewhere that still had their kitchen open and wouldn’t mind Hardy the dog coming too, after a bit of wandering and disappointment we came across Logis De La Cadene who said they would happily entertain the 5 of us. 

What we didn’t notice was that this was a gastronomique restaurant, in essence very posh grub in a very posh restaurant, there were bottles of wine on the menu for 1500 euros upwards! I can’t begin to tell you how amazing the food was, I had octopus to start with 3 different cuts of pork for my main and a kind of Black Forest gateau but assembled in a completely different way for dessert. I didn’t take any pictures as I didn’t think it was appropriate in such a high end establishment! We had a fantastic evening with some of the finest food I’ve eaten and the nicest thing of all was they let Hardy sit with us at the table inside the restaurant, he was impeccably behaved! 

The following morning we got up, checked out and made our way to the land train tour of St Emillion, you sit on a train and head around the vineyards and the tour explains a bit of history for each one, about halfway through we stopped off at one and were given a tour of the vineyards and the cellar which was quite impressive, you are then taken to the shop, taught how to taste wine properly and then given a price list for all the wine you could buy, if the land train hadn’t come so quickly we’d probably have bought a few bottles. 

This particular vineyard is at the top of the village and the views are quite lovely. 

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 The tour continues around for about another 20 minutes and then drops you back to where you started. 

Our second tour was an organic vineyard that Lindi had organised, the vineyard was called Chateau Coutet, the tour consisted of us, a Chinese couple with a kid and the girl who gave the tour, all of the other vineyards rely on various chemicals, insecticides and modified processes to make their wine and they all think this lot are mental as they use none, it’s 100% organic, the wine they make is fantastic, so much so Lindi bought two magnums and about 4 smaller bottles, I don’t even like wine and I thought it tasted lovely. 

From there we headed back to town to grab some food, en route we came across some nice cars. 

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We also came across a nice ruined abbey. 

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Despite the rocky start we really enjoyed our time in St Emillion and i definitely recommend it for a day trip. We jumped in the vans and made for Chateau Coup near Argentat, good times ahead. 

As a side note we’ve now clocked over a thousand miles on our trip, woo hoo!! 

Le wikkid beach

The beach at Biscarosse turned out to be pretty awesome.

  
The weather was just as awesome, the sun shone all day so much so we had to deploy our well travelled brolly from Ibiza gifted to us from our friends Darran and Cinzia 

  
The surf here is really good too so we grabbed our boards and I felt compelled to put my wetsuit on for a couple of reasons, one, to prevent board rash, two, so my back didn’t get sunburnt and three, other people were wearing them. 

I remember when I first bought this wetsuit and when I  put it on I looked like a right tit, you’ll be pleased to know this is still the case. 

  
It was great to catch some waves and lie about in the sun, after soaking up plenty of rays we headed back to the van to grab the Cobb for a sunset BBQ, I took a picture from the van to show you the view we have when chilling by the van. 

  
This aire is pretty popular, this is our bit, loads of motor homes! Despite how busy it looks it’s really quite peaceful. 

  
One thing I have noticed is there are T4’s everywhere, each campsite or Aire we visit there is always at least one T4, Eurovans they call them, there are a few kicking about here. 

  
We headed off over the dunes to set the Cobb up and have a sunset bbqs, it was about a ten minute walk from the van, the dunes were substantial, you can just about see Lolly in this picture. 

  
Ever since we have owned the Cobb, when explaining to people how versatile it is we always mention you can cook pizzas on it despite never having actually cooked one, we can now confidently say the the Cobb cooks a wikkid pizza! 

  
The sunset here was quite spectacular, totally worth lugging the BBQ up the dune and then walking back through the forest of darkness and doom. 

  
Once we got back to the van I read Lolly a few chapters from the Martian and then we crashed, the following morning we got up looking forward to spending a day exploring and hanging out in our favourite place so far, then Lolly’s mum called to ask us what time we’d be arriving in St Emillion as they were on their way, bugger, slight clerical error, off to St Emillion we go then! 

Le Ocean

We got up early Monday morning, packed up and left Ile de Re, our destination, Soulac sur mer. We should have already been there but we stayed an extra day at Il De Re, the drive down was fairly straight forward, we headed to Royan and caught the ferry across. I took a quick pic of the van in the queue, Lolly looks excited!!

  
The ferry crossing takes about 20 minutes and there isn’t much to do so I took a picture of the van on the ferry, seriously, there is that little to do! 

  
Back on the main land the drive to Camping L’Ocean is about 20 minutes, Lolly found it in the cool camping website, it’s a lovely place, right by the beach and pitches set up amongst the trees, I really liked it there, we promptly set up camp and then headed to the beach. 

  
I guess I’ve been spoilt on the beach front after spending so many years going to Ibiza, the beach at Soulac isn’t much to look at, sand, sea defence and sea. 

  
There are no bars or music playing, just a beach with surf, the surf is quite tame and I taught Lolly to body board, her face when she caught her first wave was brilliant!

We both fell asleep on the beach, luckily no major burnage as we are pretty good on the sun creme front, P20 is your friend, look it up!

Food was on the agenda so we chipped back to the van and got the BBQ on. 

 Dinner was another random meat BBQ pack I chose, it was alright but I’ve now been told I can longer choose the meat to cook, we had some drinks, read our books and crashed.

Morning came and the sun was out, we had a quick wash, packed up and headed for Arcachon. On the way we stopped off at the super market, I saw two awesome things, this bus:

 
And for Darran and Fresh Face, crack in a jar!

 We’ve arrived at Arcachon, the sun is blistering hot and the  campsite whilst being the most expensive is my least favourite, maybe it’s just our pitch.  I’ll let you know how we get on here in my next post. 

Le nice lunch

Sunday morning was the last day of the French summer holidays and the roads are apparently mental. Mental isn’t on this trips agenda and having not made any reservations for the next couple of days we decided to stay put, let the French queue and be on our way the following day. 

We also had new neighbours in a modest motor home. 

  
The mornings start was a fairly lazy affair, so lazy in fact it started a mile up the road with lunch in Ars on Re square. 

There are a few restaurants in the square and they all look very nice, we picked the one that had a table for two, it also had moules avec frites on the menu. Lolly had Foie Gras to start and the amount that arrived was more than she could handle, I had duck slices with some kind of terrine and foie gras too. 

For our mains Lolly had the aforementioned moules avec frites and I had a lovely pasta with tatragon, whole prawns and scallops, much happier Lolly! 

 

Lolly ordered the whole meal in French which she says is a holiday achievement!

Lunch cost us all the euros we had on us so we cycled back to camp and decided to let our food go down before venturing out again. 
Our next port of call was St Martin De Re, we got there by following one of the many cycle routes across the island, they love cycling here so much so that in th towns each house has a steel ring concreted into the wall for you to chain your bike too. 

The ride takes you past all sorts of places including the salt plains and oyster beds, both stink but it’s still a nice enough ride.

  
St Martin De Re is a fortified harbour town and when we arrived it was heaving, a bit like Padstow is during the summer. We had a wander around the harbour and concluded it wasn’t quite as romantic and picturesque as we’d imagined.

I did spot a boat in the harbour that reminded me of my dad’s old boat the Affinte II. 

  
 The ice cream shop looked really popular so we decided to find out what all the fuss was about. 

  
They were good ice creams, I had chocolate and specaloo flavour and Lolly had chocolate and brownie. We had a look round the lanes which were typically French, old houses with wooden shutters and cobbled streets, it was starting to get cold so we unlocked the bikes and made for home. 

We covered a fair few miles. 

  

  

Le rain

We set off on the bikes in howling wind and rain to visit Le Mont St Michel, we were pretty wet on arrival but that didn’t dampen our spirits and we headed through the gates for an explore. 

Lauren decided the best thing to keep the rain off was a bin bag as she brought no water proof stuff, lots of people stared and laughed at Lauren’s bin bag chic, we did however see someone else with a carrier bag on their head which made Lauren feel better. 

Despite the rain and wind it was still mobbed, making your way up to the abbey at the top involves first walking through a narrow street lined with shops selling everything from samurai swords to old world pistols, all types of food and a hotel. The narrow street is also full of people shuffling along as slowly as humanly possible. Once you clear the tourist shops it’s stairs all the way up with lots of little interesting diversions which on this day gave excellent views of rain in all directions. 

We got to the top and there was a huge queue to get in the abbey, also the heavens opened so we sought shelter under a tree. 

  
I didn’t take any pictures of the mount as it was belting down with rain and shortly after the one above we decided to head back to the van, the ride back was worse than the ride there, soaked to the skin proper. 

A quick change of clothes and we left the Aire and headed for Ile De Re, the drive took forever, a combination of traffic, burnt chips and stopping for supplies. 

  
It rained for pretty much most of the journey but for the last 20k the sun came out and then promptly set. 

It was dark when we arrived and after a massive drive I demanded a BBQ so that’s what we did, unfortunately all the things we bought were rank including kebabs that had added slices of fat between peppers and the meat. 

  
Shortly after the let down BBQ we crashed out.  

This morning we set up camp properly and will be heading to the beach, we’re also drying the stuff that got soaked yesterday!

  

Le fantastique!

  
We were recovered to a little place near Bolougne where we met three nice dogs and a receptionist dressed like a hooker. Once they had been paid by my recovery policy they dropped us off to E.R.A garage who emptied our tank and got us going again, the mechanics complete disregard for health and safety whilst emptying the tank was really quite refreshing. 

We had a four hour drive ahead which went fine, no lasting damage to the van it seems so that’s all good, we are now in a quite nice Aire called La Bidonniere with a view of Le Mont St Michel on the horizon, we met another couple in a T4, Dickie, Julia and their dog honey and after they day we’d had the only thing to do was get drunk so we did. 

  

They sell a local beer which is a quite like lager, suited me fine!

The sunset was lovely and in the picture Lauren took below you can see Le Mont St Michel to the right. 

 
 After a good nights sleep we’re off on the bikes to see the mount, then we drive to Il De Re and hopefully the sunshine!!