I’m not entirely sure how I missed the bit about our next stop being a naturist site, lolly assures me that I read the description and that I said it was cool. 

I was first alerted to the nakedness when we came to check in, all of the staff were in clothes, then some naked people walked in, genuinely I had no idea we were heading to a naturist site. 

I don’t have a problem with naturism, if people want to walk about in the buff then that’s up to them, me being naked however, that I have issue with. 

I’ve never really been comfortable with being naked, for one, I have psoriasis and this season it’s come up on my head and my arse, I don’t like looking at it and I don’t think anyone else would either. Secondly I’ve never felt particularly good about my physique, I’m not massively fat but I’m not lean either, I’m not muscular but not unmuscular either if that makes sense, average is about the best way I could describe myself. 

I turn the light off when I go to bed before I take my clothes off so I don’t catch a glance of my naked self in the mirror, issues. 

Lolly assures me that nobody is particularly looking and deep down I know she’s right, the demons in my head have other idea’s however and are set to ruin what could have been a couple of fun days trying a new experience. 

After getting over the initial shock about the whole naturist thing we made our way to the pitch we’d been assigned, it was in the blazing sun with no shelter and next door to the newly arrived circus, this would be the first and possibly last time I saw a camel wandering through the open air toilets. There were also some beautiful but quite sad looking tigers. 

  
We agreed this would not do, especially as the pitch we were given was being vacated by a Welsh couple for exactly the same reasons. A short trip to reception, an explanation of our situation and requirements resulted in us being given a list of available spots and to just help ourselves. 

The list and accompanying map were a pain to use and for Lolly it got too much, it wouldn’t be long before one of us blew a fuse, lolly went to the beach, I sorted our pitch. 

Sorting our pitch involved stopping at the spar for a couple of beers, skulling one and then opening the other for the drive round the site trying to find a suitable spot from the available ones.

After a couple of no goes I came across a suitable spot and drove the van toward it, that’s when I beached the van in sand, no going anywhere. 

Within seconds I was surrounded by naked men, an English chap called Gerry introduced himself and apologised for not coming out sooner to warn me of the sand trap, apparently I wasn’t the first to get stuck. Meanwhile, a couple of the naked men left and returned with shovels and what followed was possibly one of the more bizzare things I’ve seen in my life, naked men digging out a campervan, a true once in a lifetime experience. 

Eventually we got the van out with some digging and an old towel of all things, I got the van where it needed to be and setup camp mashley. 

 
Despite finding the whole naked digging rescue thing a bit surreal I was genuinely moved at everyone’s willingness to help a stupid Englishman stuck in the sand. I headed off to the beach to find lolly, it didn’t take long to find her and the journey to the beach involved naked overload, naked people everywhere, walking, cycling, flying down water slides and the beach, naked surfing, never seen that before! We hung by the beach and caught some waves on our bodyboards, the surf there is excellent, I put on a wetsuit, still not up for being naked just yet. 

When we got back to the van our only shower option was pretty open, no doors, just a shower while people pass by on their way to their next naked activity, I bit the bullet and got on with it, wasn’t so bad. Lolly I might add has no issue with being naked and from the moment she got to the beach ditched her clothes and didn’t wear much for the remainder of our trip. 

  
The following day the weather was a bit rubbish, I hung by the van updating the blog and devising a Frankenstein charging system so our fridge would work. I also threw a shit fit about being naked on some slides but that’s a whole other story. Lauren went for a wander and we visited Aldi to pick up some supplies for a BBQ at the beach. 

The beach at Montalivet is awesome and perfect for a BBQ.  Seeing as nobody was really around and I’d pissed off lolly with my shit fit at the water slides I figured the best thing I could do was get naked on the beach with my wife and go for a naked swim, here we are below after the swim, butt naked!

  
We cooked a shed load of food, lamb, chicken and unfortunately some rubbish burgers, steak hache for any of you heading to France, make sure you season them! 

The beach is a great spot for a sunset and this nights sunset was nothing short of epic, a stunning sunset with a massive looming storm, sometimes I forget with the right composition how good a photo an iPhone can take. 

  
We took a stroll back to the van, crashed, got up and prepped for the journey to Chambord. 

Gerry and his wife Catherine came to wish us a safe journey, they were such nice people, we bumped into them loads around the site and they always said hello, Gerry was infectiously happy at all times. 

The whole naked thing seems to remove so many barriers we humans put up, everyone I encountered on the site was butt naked, friendly and happy, I suspect at one with the whole underneath we are all the same idea. 

The site is an amazing place, it’s like a small village, in fact I know smaller villages. The facilities are excellent, the surroundings beautiful and a happy community atmosphere. 

I still feel a bit weird naked but genuinely, I hope I get over it because I’d go back to CHM in Montalivet and I’d probably get naked.